When you leave your comfort zone, you stretch your circle and allow more things to become within your comfort zone. I sometimes laugh at how odd my comfort zone is; going to the staff Christmas party is outside of my comfort zone (and so I am not going haha), but jet-setting by myself to a country I’ve never been to, with a language that I do not speak, is within my comfort zone. Being lonely is outside of my comfort zone because I haven’t felt it a lot (I’ve been alone a lot of course, but rarely “lonely.” My own company is usually enough!). I’ve learned what makes me feel lonely though, and what I need to do in order to not feel lonely. I’m getting there, anyway. I haven’t felt lonely in a few weeks 🙂

When I first moved here, my new job and new travels were fulfilling enough to be happy despite the fact that I was/am so far from my people. As time passed, everything became normal.

It’s strange how people adapt to new things until they are normal. It’s normal that I live in Germany, far away from everyone I know. It’s normal that I now know loads of people in my new city, from all over the globe. It’s normal that I don’t have a microwave or oven. That my freezer is like 5 inches big. That simple interactions often have a layer of difficulty with a language barrier. That I live alone. That sometimes I am lonely.

Being lonely isn’t always a bad thing. It pushes you to do things that you find interesting without the influence of anyone. It’s just you. It forces you to think. I’ve had so many realizations when I’ve spent too much time alone. But then the thoughts become too much, and it’s time to do something that takes my mind off of everything. If I wasn’t experiencing loneliness, then I probably wouldn’t have joined a gym here, and I wouldn’t pick up my ukulele. I wouldn’t binge watch suspenseful shows (or embarrassing guilty pleasure shows) and I wouldn’t go to events to meet strangers when I feel like being social. I wouldn’t try hard to make new friends and thus wouldn’t have the great friends that I have gotten to know. Or maybe I would have. Or maybe I’m overthinking :p

I know that me living here is temporary. That certainly makes any loneliness more manageable and even appreciated. I don’t know how temporary it is yet, but I do know that the next chapter of my life will be even more fulfilling, because I’ve been learning what exactly that means for me.